I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
