my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Send help, water and tortillas.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
