that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Randomize
