i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
