Swine flu. Run for my life!
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
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