His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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