Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
