the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
