hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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