Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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