No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
