we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
