OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Randomize
