Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Randomize
