Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
