I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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