and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
We need a shit load of segways right now
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize