Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i will never coherently bang her
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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