I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
