Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
whose parrot is this?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
