You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
My cat gives me a boner
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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