She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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