But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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