hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize
