he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
