people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
