i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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