i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
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