problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
