I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
