No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
