His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
