I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
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