am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
