Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Randomize
