it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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