I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
