please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
