Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Randomize
