I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
