i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
My dick has a subreddit
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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