I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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