i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
