I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
