Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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