Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize