Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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