whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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