If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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