Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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