There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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