Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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