he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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