Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
When did angry sex become our thing?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
