Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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