I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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