But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
